To say it has been a hot second since I wrote in this little space is an UNDERSTATEMENT!! Today
like every other Friday since I last wrote here I saw the Five Minute Friday word and I decided I would make this my MOMENT!! Today’s word is moment, hahaha. My last Five Minute Friday post was on April 27th, and just 2 days later my world was literally turned upside down…leaving me speechless…leaving my heart unable to write…how fitting that almost 6 months later the FMF word is moment and my healing heart is ready to take a moment and get some things out on paper or on the screen in print, LOL.
I love this five minute writing prompt each week
and am hoping to continue doing it each Friday again…every Friday there is a new word that several bloggers write about for five minutes…then we share our posts in a linky party…then we get to read what we each thought about the same word…SO FUN!
Okay, so I like to follow the rules…it’s just in me…so I am going to set my five minute timer and try to stick to the time as I write what’s on my heart today! I hope you enjoy it! Then head on over here and read other people’s posts for today’s FMF…mine will be linked up there too!!
I have been distant from the Lord for more than just a moment…it has felt like an eternity actually…but in reality He has been right here with me, carrying me, not judging me, loving me, and waiting patiently for me to talk to Him
even if my talking is more like angry yelling or crying.
It doesn’t matter what the pain is that occurred in my life these last 6 months…we all have our moments of pain right?? So I’m not going to discuss specifics of the pain
at least not now because I want others to be able to put their pain in the space I am talking about and relate to this moment I have had today.
My closest friends have seen a weird side of me lately…at least I imagine they think its a weird side…I have had this stand off with the Lord…I have been mad and frustrated and not wanted to seek Him or listen for His voice in all the mess I’m in…I have even sent some of my friends desperate messages asking them to pray that I would get my act together with Jesus.
This week I have been bargaining with the Lord about “if” I start to put all my trust in you and seek you, do this for me…and let’s just say I have ended up in a few muddy puddles with that kind of bartering hahaha (story to be told at a later point).
side note, my 5 minute timer just went off, but I am going to keep writing cause I haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet…I haven’t told you about my moment with Jesus this morning
Gonna get real with you for a second and admit something…this little old girl here, me, the missionary, Jesus loving, women’s Bible study leading, mama hasn’t cracked open her Bible much in the last 6 months…Oh, I have at times, begrudgingly opened it and read it without emotion or feeling…but to say I have opened it with a earnest seeking heart is not true.
This morning though was different…not entirely begrudgingly, but a little less closed heartedly, I opened my trusty Bible and actually tried to hear from the Lord
don’t let me lose you there, trying doesn’t mean that I am working to have a relationship with God, He gives me that freely and He faithfully met me and we had a moment!! TOGETHER!
Okay, maybe I should set my 5 minute timer now as I begin to actually write about the moment we had hahaha…see how squirrely a write gets when their “pen” has been broken for months?!?!
I was reading in John 2 and verse 10 came alive to me in a new way (don’t you just love when the WORD OF GOD speaks to you in a new fresh way)!
“And he (this is the Master of the wedding feast) said to him (the bridegroom) ‘Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now.'”
I re-read it and literally said out loud to the Lord and wrote in my journal “Lord, have you KEPT the good wine for my life?…are you turning water to wine right before my eyes and making a miracle for us this far into the wedding feast of my life??
This miracle we see Jesus perform of turning water into wine happened because there was a “crisis” at the wedding feast, they had run out of wine
now isn’t that a crisis, LOL….and right there in the crisis, when they were freaking out Jesus did something AMAZING, in that moment He produced the GOOD WINE! In these last 6 months of silence on my blog, grieving in my heart, and weirdness on the outside (thanks friends for sticking by me in this awkward time) I have felt CRISIS, WE ARE OUT OF WINE AND THE WEDDING FEAST ISN’T OVER!!
And in a moment this morning….
In a sweet moment with my Jesus….
He revealed to me that the GOOD WINE is yet to come….
This “crisis” of running out of wine that I am in (and people, let me be real with you…I am very much in crisis and that isn’t going to change in a moment)…could it be that He is turning water to wine for me and the master of the feast is going to taste it and say “usually people bring out the good wine in the beginning and leave the inferior wine for when the people have already had plenty to drink, but you my friend have saved the best for late in the party!!”
In our sweet moment together this morning I said to Jesus (much like His mother Mary said to Him at that wedding feast long ago) “I have run out of wine, Lord!”…
What a precious moment I had with my Lord this morning….it has left me with a bigger sliver (still kind of a sliver, I’m still in crisis here) of hope for my future…this sweet moment made me remember His plans to prosper me…and NOT to harm me….His plans to give me a future!
Could it be that right now Jesus is asking the servants to “fill the waterpots with water…right up to the brim” so that He can turn that water to wine, SO LATE
late is a relative term here because Jesus is NEVER late in my wedding feast???