adoption, faith, prayer

Faithless

Remember this post?  I have to say looking back it makes us looks SUPER faith filled….but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to all the faithless moments I have had over the years….BUT GOD….God remained FAITHFUL!

“If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.”

2 Timothy 2:13

Once again when I was crumbling like an old brick building, when my world felt like it was coming down around me, just when I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore, God showed me what answered prayer looks like again….this time He answered the deepest, loudest, cry of my heart.  On Monday I cried my eyes out to my mom on the phone self-pity faithless crying and on Tuesday I heard a message on God caring about me (even when it doesn’t feel that way) and then on Thursday when I was knee deep let’s be truthful here, shoulder deep in wallowing in unbelief that God could answer my prayer….I got a call….THE CALL….well I actually missed the call, but got an email saying that I missed the call.

My inability to breathe suddenly came from joy and excitement rather than pain and self pity….literally in a second’s time my whole world changed….I will never forget the feeling I had as I ran down the hallway at school and asked a friend to watch my class, then I ran up to Tim’s office and shared with him the news “we got the call….well we have to make the call”.

I heard the words “It’s a little girl” and again could not breathe!!  I jotted down the details I was receiving on the phone call and showed them to Tim, of course we both said “YES!”….little did we know that God had picked the MOST PERFECT little girl for us!

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We took this family selfie the day we met Agnes!  She melted our hearts even before we met her, but holding this little girl in our arms made our family complete!  She is the picture of God’s faithfulness, even when we are not always faithful.

 God was SO PERSONAL in all the details of bringing us to our little girl…we even got to be with her on her first birthday!

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The weeks of visiting baby girl were so packed with emotions…Joy over her…sadness each time we had to say goodbye…anxiety as we waited to be told we could take her home…nervousness as we were observed during visits…but I wouldn’t trade any of it, as God had ordained this little girl to be ours and us to be her parents LONG ago.

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This little girl that we fell in love with on our visits is home now bringing us SO MUCH JOY!  We are so proud of her and how AMAZING she is…each day she does something new and is growing…and our hearts are expanding to the bursting point.

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Here is another happy family picture!!  The day we got to bring her home!! I can’t believe she has been home for over a month now!!  God is SO FAITHFUL!!  It seems like just yesterday that I was grumbling and faithless….but in other ways it feels like this girl has been a part of my life forever…well she has been a part forever…I have prayed for her and God put her in my heart even before I met her.

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I’ve seen this meme (is that what you call it?) in several different versions on the web before and I can SO RELATE to the little girl in the pic….I held onto my wants and desires and even pouted about it…and the whole time God had the absolute best for me!  I can’t say it enough that Agnes is WAY BEYOND my wildest imagination of the best thing that could ever happen to me. The whole time….even years ago when I ached for a baby….God knew that He had Agnes for me, for us, and us for her!

We are one happy little family here!!  So glad that even when we were faithless a whole lot of the time God remained SO FAITHFUL!!

These are some gems from her first month home!  Ahhh, looking at her little face, my baby girl is already changing so much!!  She is just so cute.

Ps….YES, Momma does exist…I’m just so often behind the camera and I can’t resist capturing a cute Daddy/Daughter moment…I promise to try and get in front of the lens with my girl more in the months to come!

Thanks again for praying this sweet girl home faithfully.  She is a picture of God’s glory, of His faithfulness, even for the faithless!!

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1 thought on “Faithless”

  1. Im so happy for you guys I can not even put it in words how much!!!! I have been praying for you and was so thrilled when i saw your post ! She is so beautiful ! God is truly faithfull !!! ❤ Ancsi

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