It’s hard to believe that just over 4 months ago MANY YEARS of prayers were answered when our precious Agnes entered our lives…in some ways it feels like she has been with us forever, like what was life like before AMAZING AGNES took over our hearts!?!?!….in other ways the time has been quick and she is growing so much everyday it breaks my heart.
Baby girl is so beautiful, so smart and funny, such a joy to be around, and really WAY BETTER than we ever imagined. I had heard other people say that they loved their kids so much it hurts….now I know that feeling. I am AMAZED at how much I LOVE her! She has truly stolen my heart and run away with it…MADLY IN LOVE.
My heavenly father is showing me so much through motherhood. I’m getting a glimpse at how He must love me! It is incredible to think about how precious I must be to God…He says in the Bible that we are more precious to Him than we are to our earthly parents, and I think is it possible to be more precious to Him?…of course it is, He’s God…but Agnes is my world, everything she does amazes me and makes me love her more (even the naughty things she does melt my heart)….and God LOVES HER MORE than I do! WOW! I look at my daughter and see that God ordained her to be mine and Tim’s from the beginning of time, in fact before the foundations of the earth were laid He knew she would be ours and we would be hers.
Last night baby girl wasn’t feeling super great (she is in the business of getting teeth) so her and I stayed home when Daddy went to church….when she got up from her nap we played and played in her room for like 2 hours. She dug through her books and picked book after book for me to read to her. SHE LOVES BOOKS! She hoo’d at her owl and showed me her duckies….we played instruments and made her dolly sing and talk. She has this giant plush broccoli man (from Ikea). I ended up resting my head on him as she laughed and laughed (I guess Mommy looks funny sleeping on a broccoli). She hugged me and kissed me (even bit my lip super hard, with loving intentions I’m sure)….and I was IN HEAVEN! God has given me the desires of my heart in this little girl! I am SO SPOILED by my heavenly father!! He gave me the BEST daughter ever! Now when she hugs us she hugs real tight and kind of grunts like she is hugging us strong, it’s so cute how loving she is.
In these 3 1/2 months that she has been home with us we have seen our girl soar with improvements. She came home unable to sit up and now she is almost ready to walk. She crawls (or frog hops haha) around our apartment so fast and begs for someone to chase her and catch her. She LAUGHS big belly laughs and SQUEALS (OH DOES SHE SQUEAL) all the time. She is talking non-stop (gibberish) and now she is mimicking our intonation. She is pulling herself up and walking around the furniture….and we are quickly finding that NOTHING (let me repeat NOTHING) is safe if it is even close to being within her reach. We are grateful for all of the drastic improvements in her development and we believe that love is the key factor. Looking at our little girl’s life with a whole lotta love in the mix, is like looking at our own lives with a whole lotta love in the mix….I mean I think about how much my husband and I have matured and grown as we have gotten to know the love of our Savior more and more….and I look at our girl, our daughter as she lights up when Daddy gets home from work or when she sees me in the morning when she wakes up. LOVE has made all the difference for her….LOVE HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE FOR US.
A lot of heartache was in our home for years as we ached to be parents….in all of that heartache God knew that He had the best for us….He spoke peace into our hearts time and time again through the years of waiting saying “I have such an amazing promise for you”…now I know that His promise was truly the best for me, for Tim, for us as parents….Agnes was SO WORTH THE WAIT and I wouldn’t trade all the heartache and pain we felt while waiting for her. If you are a waiting mama or papa, waiting on God’s promise don’t lose faith…I’m not saying that your pain isn’t real or trying to discredit it…but let God LOVE YOU UP in the waiting….TRUST ME HE LOVES US WAY MORE THAN WE CAN FATHOM! Let Him LOVE on you! I pray for other waiting mamas and papas out there often….now as I rock my baby girl to sleep at night (and at times have tears running down my face…tears of joy as I look at the miracle in my arms) I think of you and pray for you, I pray for.